Thursday, November 3, 2011

That Time of Year

Its that time of year where nothing seems to go right.

I love NaNoWriMo. Its honestly what is keeping me from crawling into bed, but I just need something to give. At some point this year I have found myself in a position where I think, no, correction, I am CONVINCED that I am neither intelligent enough no qualified enough for the job that I currently have.

Nothing I ever seem to do is right. I seem to screw something up and then I go to the next thing and I screw that up to and.. just ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Today after school I kicked my shoes off, closed the blinds to my classroom, locked the door and sat on the floor. Crying never felt so good. All day I have felt it coming on like a storm brewing and dark clouds moving in. You know it will rain. All of the telltale signs are there; wind, lightening, thunder, but you just keep waiting for the rain to start. That was me today.

A kid thanked me for giving him feedback on his paper. I welled up in tears. My boss told me what I was trying to talk about wasn't what he was interested in talking about. I welled up in tears. Someone asked me if I was doing ok. I welled up in tears.

*deep breath*